Day 19 - Sometimes no news is bad news

We are slow learners.

Jakob was very hungry this morning, and since he had had no fever last night (even though we had stopped giving him the paracetamol mixture) and seemed his normal self again when he woke up, we brought him to the restaurant for breakfast. He ate too much, too fast, and threw up in the restaurant again!

(According to the staff, it is the disgustingly sweet manjar blanco that makes him vomit, but we doubt it, as he has never retched any of that stuff.)

He played on the terrace with his friends Paola and Armando all morning, but at lunchtime he was feeling weak and fell asleep. He slept for two solid hours. The doctor came by to check on him, but he did not want to wake him. He said he'd come by again in the evening. (He didn't. He probably had more urgent illnesses to deal with elsewhere.) Two of the other kids in the hotel have also gotten sick, at least one of them has an ear infection like Jakob's.

When he woke up again, Jakob was feeling fine, but famished. After he had eaten, we went for a walk, but he insisted on being carried the whole time. So we know he is not well yet.

During our walk we stopped to take pictures of these strange, big fruits up in a tall tree. Suddenly a security guard came rushing at us, reprimanding us in Spanish. We hadn't noticed the security camera in the tree. Apparently it was strictly forbidden to take pictures there. We hurried away from the area before we got arrested (or shot — all security guards here carry guns)!

Except for Day 14, we have had sunny and warm weather every day in Cali. But this afternoon, just after we got back from our walk, and again this evening, we had thunderstorms. Jakob was playng on the porch with his new best friend, the 12-year old boy from Australia, when the thunder and lightning started. Jakob wanted to stay on the porch with mommy, watching the weather with great fascination, safely hidden under an umbrella, even though there is a roof over the porch. But he absolutely would not go inside, he wanted to watch the storm! When the thunder came, he would put mommy's hands over his ears. Then he felt safe.

Just before the first thunderstorm, we were exploring the hotel together with Jakob, and when we came to the window above the porch, we came to realize that the tall tree by the porch is actually a poinsettia (på norsk: julestjerne)!

At suppertime Jakob had a good appetite. So good, in fact, that daddy had to take away half of his fruit lest the poor kid would spew his food again. It went well — no scandal in the restaurant this evening!

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We were hoping to hear from our lawyer today that the ICBF had assigned a new attorney to our court, but we haven't heard anything. So it probably hasn't happened, and our hopes of going home next week are waning fast.

But two other families here, the Italian and the Dutch, received good news: They will be signing their sentencias tomorrow and leaving on Sunday. We will miss them. Especially the 5-year olds (Paola and Armando) who are going to Italy!

Day 18 - Fever

It was a good thing that we started Jakob's treatment yesterday, because today he has been quite sick, running a fever all night and most of the morning, and again in the evening. He has also been in a lot of pain from the inflamed insect bite (or sting, we don't know which) on his butt cheek, so we have been administering the maximum dose of painkiller syrup that the doctor prescribed (4 cc every 4 hours) to him.

Mami and papi are also feeling under the weather, with sore throats, combined with the stress and agony of having their first child being ill for the first time. None of us has gone outside the hotel today. We've all had better days than this!

We felt so sorry for Jakob that we bought him another manjar blanco (see Day 12), and that's all he has eaten today, apart from a yoghurt.

Just before supper time, after he had been allowed out on the patio for some fresh air and had been kicking a ball with our new friends the Australian family for a while, he became very hot, and we gave him a new porton of syrup to reduce his fever, together with the prescribed amount of antibiotics for today. He took his medicine without objections (it is getting harder and harder to believe what we were told: that this child has never been sick before), but he refused to drink anything else.

He was not sleepy at all, so we brought him to the restaurant to see if he would eat a little. But he did the opposite: He threw up all over the table. We left the restaurant in a hurry. It will be a while until we bring him there again.

His medicine being all he had eaten, that is of course what he threw up. Therefore we gave him his antibiotics again, thinking that on the first day of the cure it is better that he get a slightly bigger dose of penicillin than too little a dose.

The doctor, who yesterday insisted that we call him this afternoon with an update about Jakob's health, said that he will come by to check on him again tomorrow afternoon.

We know that it is important to drink a lot of fluids when one has a fever, but the boy adamantly refuses to drink anything except his medicine. We have tried all the drinks he has liked before: water, a dozen different fruit juices, soda, hot or cold chocolate milk, and any combination of the above that didn't seem too gross. In the end we managed to (tea)spoon-feed him some water as long as mami and papi took one spoonful each for each one that he drank.

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Our case has been processed quite fast in the court we were assigned: On Monday this week we passed phase six of the process (see Day 9), and our case was sent to ICBF for control and confirmation by their appointed attorney for this court.

But today our lawyer informed us that there is a problem: That specific ICBF attorney has been promoted to another job, and his position has not yet been replaced. This effectively stops all progress in all cases that ICBF has with our court (not only adoption cases).

The judge is aware of the problem, and she has promised our lawyer to rush our case (step 8 in the process) in just two or three days if and when the ICBF get their part of the job done. And we have checked that the civil register where Jakob must receive his new birth certificate, is a fast-working one, so that will take less than one day. So in theory we may be ready to leave Cali some time next week, if the ICBF assign a new attorney to our court tomorrow. That would suit us fine! We believe our lawyer when she says that she is pushing all she can to get them to do so.

Day 17 - The doctor

Today Jakob had fun playing in the kids' swimming pool in the park together with his parents and his friends Paola and Armando (who are both 5 years old) all day. Since his nose is still running, we didn't want him to spend much time in the pool. But of course it turned out to be impossible to keep him out of the pool without constant screaming and crying, so we were selfish and let him do as he liked, so that we could have peace.

What bad, bad parents we are!

At the end of the day he started pointing at his ear and saying "me duele aquí" ("I am hurting here"). We had dismissed the thought of an ear infection because he has so good hearing, and thought that he might be pulling our leg now (because we had asked him earlier if his ears were hurting), but we seriously considered taking him to a doctor.

Then, when we got back from the park in the late afternoon, he pointed at his butt and said the same thing. He hasn't had any soreness or rashes or anything, but we thought he might need some zinc salve, so we had a look at his bum. That's when we got scared: One buttock was swollen and red, with clear puncture marks where something (like a big ant or spider) had bitten him!

We did not know whether they have poisonous bugs in parks in Cali, but Jelena was not about to sit around until we found out. While Ulf gave the kid some Dolex painkiller syrup (which obviously tasted good, by the way), Jelena ran to the hotel reception and demanded that they call a doctor immediately! They did, but the doctor could not come until two hours later. In the meantime, the swelling on the buttock was growing redder and harder.

By the time the doctor finally arrived, our boy was hot and showed signs of a fever. We made the doc check both the insect bite and Jakob's ears. But we needn't have asked him to! He was very thorough and very good with children. He looked and acted exactly like a doctor shall! If you have ever seen James L. Brooks's movie As Good As It Gets, think of the pediatrician there! That's exactly what he was like! (And if you haven't seen that movie, rent it as soon as you get the chance!) We could tell that this guy knew what he was doing, and he really made us feel that our son was getting the best possible treatment.

It was such a relief to the parents to have a doctor's (and such a good one's) diagnosis! He told us that the wound was inflamed (well, we could see that) and needed an antibiotic ointment, and that Jakob's left ear has an infection that also ought to be treated with antibiotics. He prescribed two antibiotics, one oral and one for external use, and one fever alleviating painkiller (which turned out to be the same syrup we had bought the other day), and then he wrote as part of the precription: "no piscina" ("no swimming pool")!

(Ouch! That last part made us feel a bit ashamed of ourselves.)

As soon as we had paid the doctor, he left, and the hotel called in the prescription for us during supper and had the medicines delivered at the hotel, without us even asking for it. We are very content with the service here!

Jakob was in obvious pain from his butt when it was bedtime. We gave him all the three prescribed kinds of medicine and held his hand while he cried himself to sleep. It was awful, but much less so than when we did not know what was wrong or when it might get better!

But we never did find out what bit him.

Day 16 - One step forward, two steps back

We haven't heard from our lawyer or our translator for a whole week now. But today we found out why: A family member has just died. (Our lawyer and our translator are mother and daughter.) It wasn't unexpected, but they still need time to grieve and to arrange the funeral.

Luckily for us, our documents had already been sent to the court when this happened, so it should not affect the course of our court case. We just aren't kept frequently informed about the progress.

Today Ulf went to the drugstore in the nearest hospital to buy suppositories with paracetamol (or acetaminophen) to use as painkillers for the child when he gets an earache (for instance on the plane) or other kinds of pain that either we can't take away or he is unable to tell us about. The man behind the counter sold Ulf a long strip of what looked like Durex condoms, which he claimed was Dolex suppositories for children. But once back at the hotel, we discovered that they were neither suppositories nor for children! They were regular paracetamol tablets for adults.

So Ulf went back to the hospital, and being rather annoyed he held up a tablet and said (much more loudly than necessary) to the salesman, who bore a name tag with "Jose" on it:
Jose, esto no es un supositorio!
Of course, everyone in the store turned to look.

The salesman, who spoke only Spanish (like everyone else we have met here, including everyone in the hotel staff), looked a little self-conscious when he explained that in Colombia, suppositories are used only for hemmorhoids, never as pain killers (which surely was BS), but he admitted that he had given us the wrong type of tablets and that these were too strong for a 3-year-old. In the end we got both a pack of children's tablets and a painkiller syrup, so we're sure our boy will be fine without the suppository.

By the way, we have finally decided on a name for our son. When we speak Norwegian to him, he will be Jakob from now on!

Today Jakob has been testing our patience. He has been ill-tempered and moody most of the day, always contradicting his parents and doing the opposite of what we've been telling him. All day he has been pestering the other guests and touching things he knows he is not allowed to handle, and when we pick him up, he screams, bites and pinches us.

But apparently this is not uncommon behavior for a three-year-old. (Thank you, Lillian, for reassuring us of this today!)

The Australian family, who seem very nice, got their four children (ages 5, 7, 9, and 10) today. They make such a beautiful family! They were all more than willing to play with Jakob this afternoon, which he enjoyed a lot. (But at supper he was again as obnoxious as ever.) We're glad that not all the other children in the hotel are babies, so although there are still none at Jakob's age, he can play with the bigger children until they grow tired of him!

Day 15 - The country club

We are already accustomed to street vendors approaching our car whenever we stop at an intersection, selling everything from juice or water to bonbons (lollipops) or pipe cleaners. But today we were caught slightly off-guard when a shabby-looking guy was suddenly meandering between the cars, selling what turned out to be huge, dead grasshoppers!

They were green, and much longer than a hand. I have no idea what we were supposed to do with them. Eat them as snacks, possibly, or bring them home as souvenirs. We did not buy any.

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We feel that we are making progress with our bonding process. We are still charting the waters, but where we used to get only screaming and kicking in response when we tried to set some limits, now we find that we can reason with our son and explain to him why he can't do everything he wants, in a way that he accepts (most of the time). If that doesn't work, he is usually easily diverted by a new toy or a game. So we get a little less crying and frustration now.

But today at the country club disaster was unavoidable. We got there around 11, and the place was so noisy and full of fun things to do and watch, that there was no way we could get him to take his siesta at noon. We tried again at 1 PM, and at 2 PM, but he got more and more hysterical the more we tried to make him sleep by carrying him, singing to him, lying down with him, etc. In the end we gave up and let him play in the pools (even though he still has a cold) until he was so exhausted he actually fell asleep in the middle of eating an ice cream cone. That event is captured on videotape and now ranks near the top of our list of video sequences, second only to our first spaghetti dinner (see day 8)!











After so many hours in the sun today, both mami and papi are slightly sunburnt (which you may or may not be able to see from the pictures). We were very careful to put sunblock lotion on him, several times during the day. But we forgot to look after ourselves!

Day 14 - A change in the weather

Although it is still hot, today it has been raining here, the way the weather forecasts have said it would every day since our arrival. So for once we've had to stay indoors all day, and have dropped our planned trip to a playground this afternoon.

Exploring the hotel, Ulf and son ventured into a hallway hitherto unvisited by us. There, on a coffee table, they found several magazines in Norwegian! They were from July and September, so they had been lying there for some time. Still, a nice surprise for daddy.

It didn't rain the whole day. Just before lunchtime we had a couple of hours of sunshine, enough to dry the tiles outside completely, so we could play soccer together. That's when the youngest member of our family kicked the ball while standing on the edge of the step in front of our door, and toppled over forwards when there was nothing on which to put his foot down after the kick.

Daddy was standing less than 1 m away, but it happened too fast. The boy landed on his face on the tiles, too surprised to use his hands to reduce the impact. Ulf thought he heard a sickening crack and feared the boy's skull had cracked open, or at least that the nose was broken, but to our relief the boy was breathing and crying and not even bleeding.

It was almost siesta time when this happened, and the boy immediately cried himself to sleep on daddy's shoulder. After that he slept for an hour and a half. The end result was only yet another bump on the forehead, twice as big as the first two! We put an ice pack on it, and some ointment, and the swelling soon started to subside. But if there is another inspection by the child protection agency today, we'll probably be suspected of beating our kid on a regular basis!

The ointment was provided to us by a very friendly couple from Southern France, Alain and Bernadette, who spend seven weeks here every two years of their retirement. Bernadette said she always carries some arnica ointment on her, in order to always be prepared in case she or her grandchildren fall and hurt themselves.

Alain (who bears an uncanny resemblance to a smiling garden gnome) was born in Morocco, while his wife was born in Algeria. They have lived their whole lives in hot places, and could not imagine living in a place with snow. I think they are feeling sorry for the poor boy who will be taken away from Cali to spend possibly the rest of his life in Norway and Russia!

The other Norwegian guest here, Knut Harald (or "Kanut Harald", as they spell his name here), turned out to be a retired marine officer, who lives in Spain for 9 months of the year, but in a town where everyone speaks Scandinavian. He is here on holiday because he has a friend who was adopted from Colombia as a child and he traveled with him to Colombia, but now they are doing separate things here.

Although we have been told not to put pictures of the child on the net before we are legally his parents, we have decided to make an exception today and show a picture of him from when we were playing peekaboo today! So, without further ado: Here is the first photo of our son!

Day 13 - The vegetable market in Cali

In Norway the stores sell one type of banana. It is the same type everywhere.

In Cali there are seven basic types of banana! Today we went to a big fruit and vegetable market and got an introduction to many fruits and vegetables that we had never even heard of. It makes one realize how poor the selection really is in the Norwegian stores, which is sad, because a lot of the things we tried here taste very delicious and can be used in so many ways!

One type of yellow banana, about three times the size of the ones we eat in Norway, is used only for making banana soup. We had that for lunch today; it was yummy! (Mostly because of the spices — the bananas themselves taste almost like potatoes.)


Another type of banana is completely black when you buy it. If you saw a banana like that at home, you'd throw it in the garbage for sure! That one is eaten grilled, and tastes really sweet. Then there are green bananas for eating raw, brown bananas that must be boiled in water, finger bananas, and a couple of kinds more.










And other types of fruits in all varieties: Passion fruit, zapote, many kinds of melons and watermelons, humongous pineapples, three different sorts of guayaba, and countless others. Colombians know fruit!

And vegetables as well! Today we had fried fish from the Rio Cauca for supper, and manioca (or yuca; they use both names here) was just perfect with that.

It is a dark brown root which is white as snow on the inside. They mash it and fry it so it tastes like French fries, only better.














Every day they serve us a new type of juice in the hotel restaurant, one more tasty than the other. Some of the best ones we had so far were lulo juice and guanábana (soursop) juice. You can see Enrique, the hotel owner, holding a guanábana fruit in one of the photos (and Ulf's hand holding a zapote in another).


(We are enjoying a couple of fresh pitaya fruits as we are typing this! Can you spot them in the photos? :-)

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Our son has started to speak Norwegian! He is like a tape recorder: anything we say (in any language) comes out again. We have started reading the picture books in Norwegian instead of Spanish, and he repeats every word instantly. Apart from his first words (motorsykkel and nese) he now knows and uses words like panne (he got another bump on his forehead today, when he ran straight into an iron doorframe because he turned around whilst running, to tell mami to hurry up), truse, mage, lepper, and én - to - tre!

This weekend we are expecting three new adoption families here at the hotel: One couple from France, one single adopting parent (also from France), and one family from Australia, who is not only bringing one of their own children for their stay in Cali, but adopting four children (four biological brothers and sisters)! We have already met the four children, and they seem very nice.